You Have Got To Be Kidding Me
by DontTouchMyTea
Summary: In Asgard the word soulmate, and Love is a vary powerful thing, a thing that Loki scoffs at, if you were to say the words infront of one Tony Stark, he would lauph at your face. A series of events might change both of there minds. Loki/Tony.
1. Prologe

yep i had a sudden urge to wright this and quiet frankly im nearly on the egde of spazzing out from axcitment.

Warning- yes, yes, this will be a Loki/Tony which means boy and boy. also we all no how Tonys mouth tends to get so theres languege, um blood and...well the normal stuff.

Disclamer= a obvieosly dont own the Advengers...or do i?

ok on with the show **MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

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_Prologe_

~~2 weeks after the movie~~

"God-damit! JARVIS, tell me what the hell interrupted my flight simulation!" the AI's voice filtered into the helmet

_'Sir, it seems to be an unidentified life form.'_ Tony dodged another glowing blue beam that was coming from the said object

"So basically it's an blue beam shooting Alien?"

_'I would assume so sir'_

"Well let's give it a good old Earth greeting!" Tony spun around to face the object shooting at it with his own pair of deadly beams.

The thing in question closely resembled a yellow donkey with spidery wings. He flipped behind it when it attempted to lung at him and knock him out of the sky. Once again Tony shot at the beast successfully hitting it in the chest

"**RRROOAAARR**" The yellow flying ass's speed increased and it successfully made contact with Iron man, colliding right into his chest.

Wezzing out a "Shit!" He kicked and clawed as they started to plummet to the ground.

_'Sir a storm is quickly forming above us'_

"Wha-?"

Then black.

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OH my gosh! i did it! what do you think will happen? wait.  
I know! but im not telling *smirks*

please review!thanks!


	2. Chapter 2: waitwhat?

ok, yes so update! yaaaaa! loki is a little deprest...and i dont own Avengers, that dosnt mean i cant dream. :P

Earl gray~~~

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Why? _Why_ did it hurt?** Why?** He had known that he would fail, suffer, but he still wanted to see approval in those haunting eyes, his father's eyes. The Allfather. He just couldn't handle seeing them again.

So why? Did he not already see thoughts eyes many times before, scolding and full of disapproval. Yet when he walked into the throne room head bowed refusing to look up he felt like his heart was being burned with the greatest of fire's, his legs being stabbed with thousands upon thousands of icicles, everything, every bone and muscle just _hurt._

Risking a glance up, then instantly casting his look back down. Odin sat in his high chair Frigg to his left, his face stern and unemotional. Loki scoffed at himself _of cores he was unemotional, he doesn't even love me_.

He would die, and he would still of never felt approval, love, in his own father's eyes. _Because I'm a monster_, a voice whispered in the back of his head.

yes, yes I am.

"Loki, will you not look at me?" his body went frigid, slowly, stiffly he raised his head, green emerald eyes unmasked behind the unkempt black hair finally rested on the objects of his despair his whole life. Two stupid eyes.

But

But what is that! He felt his own eyes widen in shock. Silver, silver shimmering tears cascading down aged cheeks only to intertwine with the hairs of his beard.

"Loki, my son, you are exposed to protect the nine realms including Midgard, you not only failed this but became the one doing the harm."

Fear washed over Loki and he cursed himself. He was Loki the god of lies! He has felt fear grip him twice, once when the man of iron didn't react to the scepter and now this! The fear of death. He scowled, but Odin continued. "My son, I do not wish for your death, and it pains me that you think that I do. Your brother has been spending the last weeks in the library trying to find another solution, and I pray the one that he's about to present is a good one."

Wait what? He thought everybody wish's him death…what? Did he not try to concur a world just for approval, killing most likely thousands of people? Did he not take the Tesseract out of the treasure room? Why? Loki's heart gave an uncomfortable twist of a feeling he had not felt in many weeks.

Hope.

The doors slamming behind them made both Loki and Odin flinch, Thor.

The golden god approached Loki, never had the other god felt so happy to see his brother but Thor just continued to walk past him, not even looking…just like he did before. Hope was replaced with anger.

His back, the same back Loki has seen many times before stood in front of him, always hidden in Thors shadow.

"Father! I have found an option for Loki, please Allfather listen to me" Thor's voice for once didn't ricochet of the golden walls, but surprisingly calm.

The guards shifted behind Loki and he felt that insufferable… _Muzzle_, being taken off.

"Then speak what is on your mind" Odin sat down with a sigh, Frigg patting his hand reasheringly

Loki opened his mouth to speak but Thors voice boomed above his and it wouldn't have mattered any way because he was stopped midsentence with what came out of Thors mouth.

"Soul mates" came the determined voice of Thors, Loki let his jaw drop. Nope scratch the happy to see his brother completly, he still hated him.

"W-**_what!?_**" Loki frowned at his voice it was cracked and weak. Thor turned to him "Brother, we all know that you have not found your mate but perhaps if and when you do, they could point out your flaws and make you better…I know your…afraid to love since father cast out your children-" Loki stood and glared at Thor.

"I do **NOT** need to be reminded" placing two meaty hands on his brothers shoulders Thor continued.

"finding my own, changed my life, I have made fewer foolish mistakes and she seems to now all my problems and myself hers." Thor finally turned around, dark brown clashing with green, "perhaps if we find Loki's soul mate he may finally come to see his problems and become better at his decisions to."

Well this is better than death at least.

The king rose from his thrown standing at full height " I except this…alternative" Frigg, started crying, happy her son wouldn't die. Loki sighed, his father still hasn't approved of him and his idiotic brother just saved him well this situation is just peachy. Thor's shoulder's sagged in relief, his trade mark smile placing itself perfectly on his tanned face. Suddenly Loki felt himself being crushed.

"**_T-THOR_**!" the god of mischief crocked out with what little air he had left and just as soon as the words past his lips did he find himself being placed firmly back on the ground.

"Loki! I am over joyice (LOL) that we will be finding your soul mate!" his voice becoming the normal booming voice that only could belong to him.

"Joy" his voice was strained. Just what he wanted. To be chained down by some woman like Thor. Yes that's so fantastic.

"Let us go celebrate!" and that they would of done if a bolt of lightning didn't land between were they stood and were there parents stood. Shortly after a mass of yellow, wings, red and gold collided with the floor.

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ya edited this some... so ya wish me luck and speed for the next chapter.

Tata~~


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